This is an unedited version of my article in the "Inside Emotional Literacy" Newsletter - June 2010 (www.therulerapproach.org). The Meta-Moment process is an important aspect of The RULER PROGRAM," An Evidence-Based Skill-Building Approach to Social, Emotional and Academic Learning, for which I am a coach, consultant and trainer. Although this article is written for teachers, it is applicable to parents also. The Meta-Moment process truly is a "mindfulness" practice.
Practicing Meta-Moments in the classroom allows teachers to build better relationships with their students and to create a classroom climate of connection, safety and trust; this practice can also, however, enhance teachers’ physical as well as emotional well being. Within seconds of experiencing an emotional trigger, stress hormones course through our body preparing us for “fight or flight” which results in rapid heart beat, muscle tension, disruption in digestion, and other physical distress. Not only can this “fight or flight” state, if chronic, negatively affect our health, but when in this stress state our higher thinking faculties shut down, and we cannot make the wisest decisions. Taking a Meta-Moment calms our body and mind so that we can respond reasonably and effectively.
The Meta-Moment Practice: When an emotional “trigger” occurs:
· 1. Quickly recognize what you’re feeling in your body - stomach knots, muscle tension, feeling hot, racing heart, as examples. Notice what you’re thinking and feeling; notice how you’re behaving (and appearing to your students).
· 2. Stop - and focus on calming your body: Those body stress responses you noticed in Step 1 are your “cue” to pause, rather than automatically react, and begin taking some slow, deep breaths (try thinking “calm” on deep inhale and “ease” on slow exhale) which is vital in calming body and mind; you might also, take a slow drink of water, consciously relax your muscles (notice tension in face, shoulders, arms and hands and let it go), count to 10, physically take a step back, leave the room for awhile (if possible).
· 3. Choose your goal for this situation - Once your body calms, you can think more clearly and consider the positive outcome you most want from this encounter.
· 4. Strategize how you could think (reframe, tell yourself) about this situation and what you could do to achieve this desired outcome. And finally, respond by taking the well-considered action.
Practicing Meta-Moments in the classroom helps you to pause, calm, and respond wisely in stressful situations, which enhances your relationships with students as well as your emotional and physical well-being.
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